am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
