we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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