Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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