Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
