She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have demons in me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
