I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
