I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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