I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
