he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
