Umm I'm too high to move.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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