AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
