No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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