very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Fuck appropriateness.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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