franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
