I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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