plz talk dirty to me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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