You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
