You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
