I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
where are my eyebrows?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
