We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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