with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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