Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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