hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
