so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
