I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
