I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
