We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
