We got so high we made milksteak
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
They are going to name an STD after you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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