doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
