the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
