Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
