'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
