My room smells like vodka and shame
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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