End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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