I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm passing your future prison.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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