remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
