I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
sex in a hospital.. check
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
