so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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