you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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