apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
