So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
