i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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