I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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