The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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