I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
