sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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