yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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