So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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