so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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