If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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