You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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