But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
