And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
