I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
