He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
