That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
