do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
