i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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