do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Houston, we have a squirter
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
