I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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