we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
