just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
